Failed Career: Performer

You Get

A dramatic outfit, a set of makeup, a withered rose.

What was your final performance?

  1. Avant-garde: You experimental one-person-show perplexed even the most diabolical coalition of warlocks who cursed you to never play again.
  2. Offensive: The prince did not enjoy the laughter of the crowd responding to your musical accusations of his romantic failings.
  3. Injury: The exotic beast seller promised you that your purchased owlbear was toothless. Turns out beaks are just as deadly.
  4. Maddening: A travelling astronomer pitched you a sheet music inspired by vibrations they claimed to hear while looking into the night sky. Your fluting rendered the audience into a gibbering, howling state, rasping in fear and admiration of something called “the dwellers beyond the veil of space.” Not exactly your theater’s name so you didn’t take it as praise.
  5. Timidity: Your one and only performance involved you staring wide-eyed into the audience for several minutes. When you finally opened your mouth to speak your lines you were caught in anxiety-induced dry heaving. Everyone uncomfortable got up and just walked out.
  6. Cursed: The various poems you recited mocked all variety of unnatural beings and their believers as delusional. A wayward godling found your atheism disquieting and cursed you to be a magnet for the supernatural.

You made off with this trinket from your troupe:

  1. Simian Skull: Sometimes confused for monster bones, this fanged skull smells faintly of exotic fruits.
  2. Massive Prop Weapon: A gnarly blade resembling one of the many gods’ weapons, much more intimidating until its revealed to be a wood-and-wool replica.
  3. Speculative Future Clothing: A peculiar cotton t-shaped tunic, and rough blue trousers with a peculiar buckling apparatus near the front of the waist. This outfit is based on a fictional codex of time traveling serf to the far futures.
  4. Tome of Troubling Limericks: These verses become less bawdy the further into the book you get, and become more and more harrowing.
  5. Many Faced Mask: This leather and plaster mask appears mundane, but every time it is slipped off it takes the countenance of a random creature of legend.
  6. Stage Double: Seeing as how you are out of work, your double also is. They continue to follow you day to day, but not without regularly complaining that you ruined their career.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.

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