You get
Oversized robes, a tarnished holy symbol, a formerly tonsured haircut now overgrown with stubble.
Why did you depart from the church?
- Misinterpretations: A villager conducted seance with their recently deceased family member, a long-standing member of your flock. It turns out religious counseling by you led to their direct damnation.
- Illiteracy: You were able to trick your superiors into thinking you could read by just staring absently into the illuminated texts for hours, but when actually asked to discuss readings from the scriptures, you were only able to give the most ridiculous of guesses.
- Dark Night: Confronted by the stipulations of faith, you found yourself dizzied with doubts. Maybe you can find enlightenment in the relics hidden by the past civilizations.
- Imposter: It turns out that the particular deity worshipped by your church was just some diminutive fae creature playing a joke on humankind.
- Greed: A confessee admitted to breaking into a local crypt and swooned at the glittering treasures buried within, but also fled when something skulked in the shadows.
- Corruption: You discovered several plots within the church – ploys to steal from peasants, absolutions provided to nobles in exchange for wealth, and even ritualistic pleas to dark powers. Disaffected you turned to a life on the road.
What final gift were you given?
- Bracelet of the Truthful Tongue: A wrist-sized loop of wooden beads, when worn in the presence of a lie the twine will snap, spilling the beads.
- Silver Aspergillum: A finely fashioned wand that allows the wielder to sprinkle holy water over nearby subjects.
- Clewd’s Catalog of Chaotic Creatures: A leather-bound tome containing dozens of descriptions of demonic beings.
- Dentures of the Saint: A small pouch of wooden teeth rumored to have been the eating implements of a notable saint. Whether or not this is true, they at least look holy to you.
- Incense of the Ascended Man: A stick of sweet smelling incense supposedly used by the famous ascetic during their meditation that led to their apotheosis. Objects around 10 coins in weight will float on the smoke of the incense hundreds of feet up, never to be seen again.
- Vampire Hunting Kit, Deluxe Edition: A lavishly polished wooden box containing cloves garlic, vials of holy water, a small mirror, 3 wooden stakes, a mallet, and a scroll containing one revocation of invitation bearing a bishop’s seal.
Inspired by Electric Bastionland, Knave, and Ten Foot Polemic.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.