You Get
A meat cleaver, a bloody apron, one ham hock.
Why Did You Leave Butchery Behind?
- Bankruptcy: Your practice failed turn any sort of a profit.
- Guild Standards: Things that the guild believed to be “unsanitary” and “unethical” were a major part of your practice. You were stripped of your title.
- Hemophobia: Despite being a fan of the art of the cut, the sight of blood leaves you faint.
- Cursed: The nearby Necromancer made it pretty impossible for you to safely do your job, on account of all the animals rising to eat your brains mid-butchering.
- Plant-Based Druidism: Your community was ran by a circle of Druids that made it very clear that if it wasn’t made out of legumes, it wasn’t welcome.
- One Too Many Close Calls: Having gained a wide array of scars, lost a few fingers, and spilled quite a bit of your blood, you thought plundering tombs sounded safer.
What Strange Thing Did You Find On The Job?
- Cleaver of Returning: Your knife is either enchanted or built in such a fashion that it boomerangs back to you when thrown. Unfortunately catching it is an extremely harrowing process.
- Bottle of Sumptuous Blood: One of your primest cuts bled a liquid that makes any beast foam at the mouth. Pouring this out in the vicinity of animal will render it ravenous.
- A Highly Obedient Hog: The one you couldn’t kill, you have a very reliable pig that follows your every step.
- A Lucky Femur: One of the bones of a cow you slaughtered was riddled with runes. Surely it provides you some protection.
- Regenerative Grounds: A fistfull of ground beef grows a cubic inch of new beef every day. Does not preserve yesterday’s meat any longer, though.
- Nesting Best: The last cow you butchered ended up being hollow, containing a sheep within. It walks and talks like any other sheep, but you suspect that there’s an even smaller animal within.
Inspired by Electric Bastionland, Knave, and Ten Foot Polemic.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.